Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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