it was like his penis was on wheels.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
