i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Randomize