When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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