Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
