At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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