I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
