he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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