People in love make me want to vomit
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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