i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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