if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
