I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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