Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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