never play flip cup with pint glasses
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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