Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
