Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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