It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
