White coat. Heels.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just want nice things and good sex
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
