all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
