i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
