I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
