This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
