I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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