bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
