So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
