Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
