Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
