John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
