Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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