So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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