HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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