Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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