He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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