why didn't you poke me back
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
