need another drink. this is the easiest way
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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