no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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