So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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