just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
