I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
