i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
