Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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