I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
