He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
