Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
