I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
