Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
