in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
