Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
