He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
God I need to hump something, right now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
