Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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