My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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