No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
