if you like me you must not know who I am
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
