he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
