is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
