Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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