so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
God, I missed his penis.
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