if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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