I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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