she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My butt remains clenched, sir.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
