Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So much rum. So many feels.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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